The art of the compliment

Compliments to some people are the acknowledgement and affirmation that is necessary to continue to do great work. Conversely, to some people, the compliment is a segue into an uncomfortable silence. When giving a compliment or reinforcing feedback, ensure that you are sincere. If you do not believe what you are saying, it will be clear to the recipient through the microinequities you will be radiating.

When giving a compliment, you want to be as specific as possible to ensure the recipient has an opportunity to understand why they are being appreciated. A good formula you can use is something like the following: "When you covered the meeting for me this afternoon, it made it possible for me to go to the budget meeting and advocate for our group’s needs. Thank you very much for your flexibility and supporting me this afternoon." In a more generic way, it could look like this "When you [exhibited behavior], the impact was [what was the impact felt]. [Please continue doing the same thing or could you change your behavior]."

Feedback is neither positive nor negative. Feedback is a description of impacts caused by specific behaviors. If you want a great listen on feedback, please check out Manager Tools as they invest heavily in this topic.

If you are receiving a compliment; be patient, listen intently, and acknowledge it fully. Be gracious and thank the individual for giving you the compliment. This can be simply done with a few simple words that show that you value their opinion; "Thank you for taking the time to tell me that. I appreciate it."

By returning the compliment with respect and sincerity, you will continue to foster the trust that is already built with the sender.