Getting to public speaking

Like every week, the boy needed to do a book report. This was not that big a deal as the boy enjoyed reading. However, giving the book report was always uncomfortable. He would be expected to stand in front of the room and give his report to his class.

When he arrived at class, there was a video camera and television set up in the room. Child after child went without any major incident and the teacher called on the boy as he was the last one to go.

The boy went to the front of the room and started to recite his book report and then stopped suddenly. He could not remember the report and the teacher asked, "didn't you do your book report?" He replied meekly with "Yes." The teacher then said "You need to finish your book report and it needs to be 2 minutes like I assigned."

He tried to start again and for the life of him could not remember what he had read. After what seemed like an eternity, he started to cry as the camera rolled on. After what seemed like an eternity and a half, the teacher graciously turned off the camera and excused the boy back to his desk.

The next words from the teacher were "Now we are going to watch each book report and judge how they did as a class." When the tape continued to his section, the boy could only hope that the teacher would put a stop to it. As the boy on the television began to give the book report and froze, the boy had that same sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach again.

Time passed and the video eventually ended, but the feeling did not. For the remainder of the school year, this continued and he never did get past his fears.

In order to be an effective presenter and public speaker, you should follow the following process to reduce any possible anxiety you may experience.

1. Own the material
2. Know your audience
3. Plan, plan, plan
4. Practice, practice, practice

The confidence you bring will help your audience believe your content. The best way to describe this is why should your audience believe what you are presenting if you do not believe it yourself. Prepare by coming up with questions and answers that would come up from a person that does not have the same background as you or questioning each of your assumptions. This can be done in your practice sessions before your actual presentations.

Who you are presenting to is critical to ensuring you are using the right language profile. This coupled with the size of your audience and the benefit/value that this presentation will provide are major success indicators. Choosing the right language profile will allow you connect and build rapport with your audience.

A little splash of planning will go a long way. Print outs, presentation deck, laser pointer, cue cards, and other aids are all great as long as they are ready before hand. Get these items together an hour or two before your engagement. Make sure you do not compete with lunch and that there is adequate seating for your audience.

Last, but not least, practice often and much. This will allow you to be comfortable in speaking without reading the content off the screen. Additionally, you will be able to get feedback on your content and the manner in which you present which will only improve over time.

As with everything you do, be realistic in what you can handle and practice in increasing your scope over time. If you try to do your first presentation to a room of 1000s, the result will likely not be to your liking.

What other tricks have you learned to make you a better public speaker?

Foundations of trust

A while ago, I went to buy a car because my commute had become somewhat unbearable and I was looking for a little luxury out of the situation. I went to the car lot and a salesman struck up conversation up with me. We chatted about what I was looking for and the different types of vehicles that were available.

When we went for the test drive, I was pretty much ready to buy the car right there. When we got out of the car, I said, "I am interested in getting this car. What do I need to do next to make that happen?"

The response that I got stopped me in my tracks. With a lilt to his head and a tone that spoke he was trying to sell me something, he said, "Trust me. I got your back."

All the rapport he had spent building was gone in one 5 second exchange. He had gone from someone that was interested in what I was looking for to someone that appeared to have dollar signs in his eyes.

The fundamentals of trust are so delicate and require constant vigilance as for one wrong move can damage it irreparably. It boils down to behaviors and the underlying micromessaging that we convey on a day-to-day basis. It is the baseline required for good relationships no matter the context; significant other, child, employee, friend, manager, or parent.

Trust is what makes it possible for individuals to have a short conversation and respond with, "I understand. How do I help?" It is also what causes individuals to dig deeper when they hear a new idea because "it just doesn't sit right with them."

When you consider that all individuals in a relationship start on day 1 from a neutral standpoint, trust is like the freshly potted plant from the floral shop that is just to be planted.

Given that knowledge, what can you do to grow your plant effectively?

• Be the example of integrity
• Set and meet expectations
• Be humble and kind

Each of these has individual behaviors you can exhibit on a day-to-day basis. When stray from this in your relationships, you will find that you will have created negative influence/trust for yourself.

Be the example of integrity can be exemplified in many ways; choosing to do the right thing versus wanting to be right, taking responsibility for doing something wrong or making an error, being honest, giving credit, or being sincere. While these are some examples, there are many more micro-actions you can take to help be the role model of integrity.

Set and meet expectations is grounded in clear communications with all individuals. Whether it is through project schedules and committing to timelines for the big project or through planning a date night your significant other, the core still applies. Define the outcome and make sure you each have shared understanding and beliefs. Missed expectations are often not about what was delivered, but what was left unsaid.

Be kind and be humble are about the concept of "the Mom sniff test," but especially about being generous with ourselves. Share your time, your experiences, your lessons, and your beliefs and you will find people willing to share the same with you as well. This creation of shared understanding enables clarity of thought and language profile.

Like any plant, trust requires care and feeding and without it, trust will atrophy. When you invest the time and effort, you will see the relationship flourish and continue to grow over time.

What do you do to build trust within your relationships?